Disclaimer: I do not own ANY of the Roswell characters, as much as I may wish that I did. They belong to those awesome people at the WB. So please don't sue me! You'll only get a few CD's (which will probably not be to your liking) and a few negative utopia books that I had to buy for my wonderful English class. And thank you (to those whom it applies) for letting me borrow your stuff! I appreciate it!
Dedication: To Jordan, who gave me this wonderful quote that inspired the piece of writing. Thanks girl for always being there.
Author's Notes: I've been out of town and on the trip, I was going through my quote book. I found this quote and it inspired this writing. Enjoy...
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"Everything is okay in the end and if it's not okay, it's not the end."
- unknown -
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Today, I died. Not in a physical way, just emotionally. My heart, once again, was ripped out of my chest, thrown on the floor, and trampled. I died because Max Evans left me for his destiny. Or should I say that I left him because of his destiny?
Max promised me that we made our own destinies. And I have to admit that I believed him. I knew that he loved me - he told me constantly. But could his love be as strong when he found out the truth? I asked this question constantly, but I never expected the answer that I got.
We went to their cave; where they were born... hatched... whatever. There, we brought Nasedo back to life because Agent Pierce shot him. When he was being revived, Max and I saw what he really looked like. He was a little green man, like the kind from any science fiction film and all those cheesy tourist traps in town. In a way, it was freaky, but in a way, funny. Wait 'til I tell Maria!
But that's beside the point. Nasedo was put on this earth to protect them. When he was asked about the communicators, he told them that they'd lead a lot of scary things to them. But he did say that it was their choice and they could use them if they wished. Then, he morphed into Agent Pierce and promised them that he'd keep them safe. And he left.
Max wanted to try the communicators, so they paired off; Max and Tess, Isabel and Michael. Of course, I was left on the sidelines to wait and watch what happened. In an instant, the orbs started to glow and there was a flash of light. Then, a hologram of their mother appeared by the cave wall.
She spoke to them about their destinies. Max was married to Tess and Michael and Isabel were betrothed on their home planet. And they were sent to earth so that they could come back to their planet one day and save their people from the evil race of aliens who had taken control. Then, as soon as the appeared, she vanished into thin air.
All four seemed stunned. How many times have you been told your destiny? And how many of you have been told that you're supposed to be the savior of your people? I think that it would be a bit much to handle at one time.
Tess was the only one who wore a grin across her face. She smirked at me and then tried to kiss Max, telling him that she knew that it was supposed to be this way. But he pushed her away and ran to me, telling me that everything he told me before was true and everything would stay the same between us.
How could it stay the same? He just heard his destiny... all of it. He knew what his purpose in life was. How could I keep him from his home? How could I get between him and his destiny?
So I told him that and I did something completely uncharacteristic of me. I told him goodbye and I ran away.
I ran away from the cave. I ran away from my past. I ran away from my memories. I ran away from people who cared about me. I ran away from Max. I ran away from my destiny.
And as I ran, I thought about what my life had become. My life had become a constant lie shared with my five best friends. Or those who knew the most about me. And those who cared the most about me.
Where would they be without me? Would they know any more than they did the fateful day that Max saved my life? I began their whole string of discoveries about themselves. Without me, where would they be? Would they know their destinies or would they be fumbling around in the dark like they used to be?
I sit here on my balcony in the warm desert air and stare out at the stars, pondering my life. Could it get any worse? Probably not, but I can always hope for the best. I have a brand new start tomorrow and I have no intentions of wasting that chance.
And I wonder if anything in my life can go back to normal. But I know all to well that I've already left normal and I'm not going back any time soon.
As I think, I remember something that Grandma Claudia used to tell me when I was a child. She used to say, "Everything is okay in the end and if it's not okay, it's not the end." And I smile as I stare up at the sparkling night sky, knowing that Max and I haven't ended... not yet.